30 March 2009

spending hiatus - weeks #5 & #6

First, don't forget to leave a comment on last wednesday's post so you have a chance to win a fabulous prize...Now, a caution: this post is much more serious and brooding then the usual hip homemaker fare. You have been warned...

The thing that has been the most revealing to me through this whole process is the "why" of my shopping habits. I knew that I enjoyed a jaunt to the thrift store or a stroll through target's shiny aisles, but I don't think I fully grasped the emotional relief that shopping can offer. I shop because I am hurt or angry or bored or insecure. Hardly ever do I shop because I actually need something. This Sunday that came so plainly to a head. After a hurtful, disappointing afternoon at the end of a somewhat full weekend of entertaining company, my first response was only to immerse myself in the mismatched racks of my local goodwill. I wanted to buy something, anything that made me feel cute and hip and pulled together. The exact opposite of how I felt at that moment.

I was grateful that it was shopping and not food that I craved(which has been my vice before), but I kept thinking that I needed to channel these emotions into something healthier, like yoga or running. My post baby body has never quite returned to the glory that once was and I have done nothing, zip, zilch to help it. I struggle to keep up with everything else that I have to do and all the things that I really want to do and I just haven't found the motivation. Until now. I am tired of being tired, no energy by the end of my days. I am also tired of my favorite pieces of clothing fitting awkwardly or not at all. Tired of being self-conscious, insecure and frumpy... No more, I say! I will start to make time for the healthy, active me and I will find a new, healthier place to channel and deal with these negative emotions.

So, overall as I look back over the last 6 weeks, I feel good about the changes I have made in my spending. I also know that removing that coping mechanism, even inadvertently, has helped me to get out of an unhealthy rut that I had been stuck in. I would love to hear from you: what are your favorite healthy ways to deal with stress and negativity, in your life?


(running shoes from timtak's photostream)

Now, back to our regular crafty program...

3 comments:

lacy said...

While a little more serious than past blogs what you are saying is what I have been feeling, exactly, 100%! I also do this with eating and it sucks having these things have power over us, instead of us over them. You acknowledging this and owning up to it makes you the one in control and is really inspirational. It gives me hope that I can just say "no" and do something much more productive that will actually make me feel better long term! Keep up the good work and thanks for having the courage to post this entry.

Whale With a Why? said...

Dear Hip- I too struggle with the post baby body (my baby is now two and a half!!) I also struggle with the emotions of others wearing down on me. When someone says something mean to me I truely take it to heart, and when I do something that I feel didn't portray the best "me" I get pretty down. My usual vice is to sit on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls. It's a great empowering show that makes me feel better about myself(even though the acting sometimes can be pretty lame.) However, sitting on the couch watching endless hours of TV does nothing for my health. I've now starting stretching on the floor or doing squats rather than just sitting there. I plan to purchase a manual treadmill and walk or run while watching my show to help my healthy attitude. It's the little things that we can change that will make us better.

autumndaesy said...

I have a journal. I only get it out to write in it when I am feeling down and can't bounce back with my normal coping mechanisms. (a glass of red wine and a funny movie) When I do get it out, I read through the past entries, (things like the stress of working for United on Sept. 11th, the death of a friend, my frustration over not being able to conceive and losing two pregnancies...) and often just reading them puts my current problem into perspective. Usually, I put the journal away without even writing, because I feel that paltry problems would somehow "sully" the idea of the journal.

When I'm angry, (or hurt by my occasionally insensitive partner!) I clean. I don't clean as often as I should, so when my husband comes home to perfectly dusted/vaccumed/organized house, he thinks about backing out the door and returning with flowers! ;)